Me and the eff, bee, aye

One of the problems I have had with all the teeth gnashing over the NSA revelations is that I just can't imagine--and this could be because I don't take myself or my existence all that seriously--they really give two shits about 99% of us.  I mean really--most of us live a life that is just slightly more exciting than that of a turtle at a nearby pond resting regularly on a piece of driftwood floating in the middle.  And some of us don't even top that kind of excitement (you know who you are).  Doesn't mean I think the spying programs are hunky-dory, just means I can't get as worked up as some people do.

For shits and grins, I decided to send in a Freedom of Information/Privacy Act request to the FBI (surprisingly, you can't send one to the NSA...hmmmm...).  Now, I would have been stunned had I shown up on any watch lists--other than a handful of traffic tickets, none of them egregious, I have had zero run-ins with any kind of law enforcement.  Nor do I run around threatening to blow up government (or any other kind of) buildings.  For the last thirty-two years I've had a family to support, and while Susan Sarandon can get arrested for forming a human chain in front of Wendy's to protest their use of chicken factory farms, I can't.  No work, no kids eating, very unhappy mothers of children.

My request came back this week, and surprise of surprises, I am not on any watch lists...but...I did find these couple of passages in my official letter from the FBI a bit disconcerting.  Pardon the legalese, I'm quoting:

"By standard FBI practice and pursuant to FOIA exemption (b)(7)(E) and Privacy Act exemption (j2) [5 U.S.C. 552/552a (b)(7)(e), (j)(2)] this response neither confirms nor denies the existence of your subject's name on any watch lists."

And:

"For your information, Congress excluded three discrete categories of law enforcement and national security records from the requirements of the FOIA.  See 5 U.S.C. 552(c) (2006 & Supp. IV (2010).  This response is limited to those records that are subject fo the requirements of the FOIA.  This is a standard notification that is given to all our requesters and should not be taken as an indication that excluded records do, or do not, exist."

What the fuck?  Anyone familiar with All the President's Men would have to call this a non-denial denial.  For fuck's sake, what's so hard about either yes, dipshit, you are on a watch list, or, no, numbnuts, you aren't?

While I still sincerely doubt the FBI or NSA has any photos of the Beautiful Girl and I doing the midnight two-step, you can certainly see why no one--on either the left or the right--would want to trust these bastards.  After reading my letter, and the gobbledygook in the two passages above, where my government can't even give an ordinary, law-abiding citizen like me a straight answer, I know I don't.

Transparency indeed.

Peace,
emaycee