Folks who will not be our next President

As we near the point when every Tom, Dick, and Harriet is going to begin putting out feelers for their chances to be the republican nominee for President in 2016, I have compiled a list of potential candidates who will never be President to save time over the next two years for political novices, those too busy, and those who have actual lives to live.  Next to each name will be the reason(s) he or she will never be President.

[Note:  You can easily save time on the Democratic nominee as well.  Two words:  Hillary Clinton.]

The list:

• Rand Paul--nutjob and  his Dad is an even bigger nutjob.
• Ted Cruz--nutjob.
• Chris Christie--corrupt and a colossal asshole.
• Michelle Bachmann--nutjob and a dunderhead.
• Herman Cain--nutjob and a pervert
• Ben Carson--nutjob.
• Donald Trump--his very existence.
• Mike Huckabee--ultrareligious nutjob.  Would prefer to be Ayatollah of the U.S.
• Sarah Palin--nutjob, dunderhead, and not enough money in it.
• Jeb Bush--Dad sucked as President and brother sucked as President.  Third time will not be the charm for the Bush family.
• Mitt Romney--phony, and 47%.  Also, Americans only love two-time losers in celebrity third marriages.
• Marco Rubio--phony and blew the biggest speech of his political career in spectacular fashion.
• Paul Ryan--nutjob and Walter Mondale/Bob Dole (both were losing Vice-Presidential nominees who eventually secured their party's nomination for President only to get pulverized in the general election).
• Scott Walker--corrupt and a real prick.
• Rick Perry--nutjob and a dunderhead (glasses don't necessarily make the man).
• Bobby Jindal--phony and stupefyingly dull.
• Rick Santorum--nutjob and santorum (see Urban Dictionary).

There are numerous other minor potential candidates who are not listed because they are, uh, minor candidates.

I'm not saying a republican can't win the Presidency in 2016--I'm just saying it won't be any of these bozos.

You're welcome.

Peace,
emaycee