It's a big old goofy world...

It's Friday, and time for what I hope will become a regular feature....It's a big old goofy world, Friday edition (with all due thanks to John Prine and his wonderful ditty):

The Week's Not So Top Five

1) Apparently it isn't enough of a challenge for the California state Assembly that their constituents face 10% plus unemployment and their state is teetering on the brink of bankruptcy, a bill is being floated to have a Cuss Free Week to, supposedly, "promote greater harmony." To this, I have but three words: Fuck that bullshit!
2) A local man in Contra Costa County, CA was perturbed that a local mountain was named for the devil (Mt. Diablo), and petitioned the County supervisors to have it renamed after Ronald Reagan. The petition was rejected due to overwhelming support for keeping the original name. Note to Republicans: perhaps it's time to give up on the St. Ronnie schtick when an overwhelming majority of people would prefer a peak be named for Satan rather than your hero (or, more likely, they realized the two were one and the same).
3) In their never ending quest to beatify Mr. Reagan, Rep. Patrick McHenry (R-Surprise!) has introduced legislation to have Reagan replace Ulysses S. Grant on the $50 bill. So many idiocies, so little time...in the first place, and I'm not an expert on the minting process, for a party that's so concerned with spending, isn't this change going to cost money that we really don't need to spend? Second, we're going to replace a Civil War hero with...what, the man who singlehandedly did more to destroy working class Americans (firing of the air traffic controllers started us on our downward trend financially, trickle down policies ensured that, as Leonard Cohen wrote, "the poor stay poor, the rich get rich...")? Give me the drunken, corrupt politician over the malevolent, corrupt politician anyday. Though, I suppose, there would be a certain poetic justice in putting Reagan on a bill that most of us poor bastards can't afford to carry in our pockets.
4) A high school in Rome has begun selling condoms out of vending machines (this seems to be a somewhat common practice in several European countries) in the hopes of "curbing teen pregnancy and HIV." In a move that is about as surprising as a Conservative being an idiot, the Catholic Church has condemned the move, saying the condoms will "encourage young people to have sex." What the fuck? This is why men who don't have sex should never offer advice on sex. It's been thirty some odd years since I was a teenager, but if memory serves, it didn't take much during my teen years to encourage sex--a nice smile, a good head of hair, a pleasant perfume, or even, for fuck's sake, looking at a cheeseburger. Note to the Catholic Church: teenager can be defined as "one gigantic, raging hormone." Stick to saving souls, guys, at least you're trained for it.
5) Glen Beck is encouraging his viewers (apparently the TVs in mental institutions only get one channel) to leave their churches if they talk about social justice. What is it with Conservidiots that if some obscure passage in the Old Testament condemns homosexuality they expect it should be followed verbatim, but if Christ says in the New Testament (Christ being the reason they're "Christians") something along the lines of love your neighbor as yourself, or, it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than a rich man get into heaven, it's sloughed off as just so much fluff? Can somebody please explain this to me? What's that? Oh--it's usually said by rich mother fuckers who don't give a fuck about anybody but themselves. Got it...
To which I reply to Mr. Beck, "Fuck you! Next idiot please!"

Peace,
emaycee