R-CRAP

Highlights (and judging from the usual lunacy, you'd think republicans were actually high) from this past weekend's CPAC convention:

• Ted Cruz claiming that President Obama was no longer President because...I guess you have to be a republican to get it.  No one else fucking does.
• Wayne LaPierre saying that American is fucked up, but all our problems can be solved with more guns.  With the anger most Americans feel toward them, wonder how the 1% feel about that....
• Paul Ryan told us a story with the moral that the parents of poor kids don't love their kids as much as the parents of middle class and rich kids do.  Not particularly surprisingly, it turns out the story was, well, a lie.
• Mitch McConnel walked on stage carrying a gun that looked like it was used on Little House on the Prairie to prove how bitchin' he was.  Note to McConnell:  only law enforcement personnel look good carrying a rifle while wearing a suit.
• Not really sure who they hope to impress with this, but republicans sure love fellating Vladimir Putin.
• For whatever reason, the republicans chose to use political heavyweight Sarah Palin to close their convention.  Not really sure why they'd want to use someone with all the gravitas of a cat fart, but it's good for us.
• The yearly CPAC straw poll for President chose Rand Paul out of a long list of mental defectives as its choice for 2016.  Also good for us:  Rand Paul has as much chance of being the next President of the United States as I do.  Zero.

The only thing missing (near as I can tell) was Ted Nugent shitting his pants and chasing fourteen-year-old girls.

Can anyone explain to me how we ever lose an election to these imbeciles?

Peace,
emaycee