If there's a thread for worst songs ever, this week's tune is guaranteed to get a mention. A 1991 book by Jimmy Guterman, The Worst Rock and Roll Records of All-Time, ranked it as the third worst song ever. A 2006 poll by CNN ranked it the fourth worst. And as I listened to it again this week while doing my half-assed research, I could think of nothing redeeming about the song...and yet I enjoyed every minute of listening to it. Ah, well--one man's trash is another man's treasure....
Charlene Oliver (professionally just Charlene) was born in Hollywood (yes, that Hollywood) in 1950, and signed her first recording contract with Motown in 1973. She released her debut album in 1977, released three singles (all three of which peaked in the nineties on the Billboard Hot 100), recorded a second album which was never released, had one more single in 1980 which didn't sell either, and was promptly let go by Motown. In 1982 a Florida DJ (who at one time had worked for Motown) started playing the single on a tip from his girlfriend, and the song became a hot request. He notified Motown, which tracked down Charlene in England (where she had moved with her husband) where she was working in a candy shop and re-signed her. The single went on to be a big hit, but as often happens with one-hit wonders, Charlene was never able to duplicate that success, though she has continued to record through the years. Eventually she ran a business with her second husband in Los Angeles, and today is an instructor at a music school in Texas.
Fun Fact: Charlene was the first white solo singer on Motown to have a top ten hit.
"I've Never Been to Me" was originally released as a single from her debut album Charlene in 1977, though the first single release was a remade version without the spoken monologue (if you can stomach the song featured below all the way to the end, you'll know what I mean) from her debut album version and peaked at #97 (with a bullet!). As noted above, after its success in Florida it was re-released with the spoken monologue and reached #3 (with a bullet, once again!) on the Billboard Hot 100. It also reached #1 in Australia, Ireland, Canada, and the U.K. (so many cool kids...nope, not going there). Her debut album did not chart, but its addition on a 1982 album called, amazingly enough, I've Never Been to Me, reached #36 on the Billboard 200.
Fun Fact #2: "I've Never Been to Me" was originally written from a man's perspective, and for some odd ass reason, I'm really glad I never heard it.
Man, I'm not even going to begin trying to dissect this song's greatness--I know better. But I would like to add that although there are numerous examples of songs we love to hate, there is generally a degree of talent that allows artists to create--and sell--even bad songs. If you listen to "I've Never Been to Me" you can tell that Charlene has a talent for singing--her voice isn't comparable to Adele or Streisand, but she sings better than most of us could dream of. She also writes songs. produces them and performs them live. That's not a defense of liking a bad song--it's just an acknowledgement that there's a lot of talent, perseverance, and hard work in becoming a professional musician.
Lyric Sheet: "Oh, I've been to Nice/And the isle of Greece/When I sipped champagne on a yacht/I moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo/And showed 'em what I got..."
Enjoy (or not):
Republicans = Nazis
Peace,
emaycee
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