Short Cuts

A great song once said, "There's something happening here...." My new standard for op-ed pieces is two-fold: first, is it more in depth than the blather I'd get from my neighbor or some other idiot on the streets, and second, is it a piss poor attempt at humor by a writer who's not naturally funny. This piece on "budget-speak" by Wonk from the Free Press fails fucking miserably on both counts. The truly sad part? I paid money for this "analysis." Trite and lame are the best adjectives to describe. The Free Press continues its lovefest for Gov. Snyder--seems the poor little guv just can't get everything he wants because of that awful meanie "politics." Seems to me, though, that the very practices they are lamenting were indeed quite wise checks and balances put into Michigan's constitution, much like the checks and balances in the U.S. Constitution, to prevent the kind of unilateral, fuck over the rest of us (cuts to state employee benefits and wages, ending item pricing laws at the expense of jobs) changes Snyder wants. I particularly loved the title of this companion piece: "Snyder powerless against powerful agency." And thank God for that, since it seems the Michigan Civil Service Commission cares a lot more about folks like me and my family than Dudley Do-Right Snyder does. Seems Candace Miller, Michigan's Republican U.S. rep from the 10th District, was recently named the Great Lakes Legislator of the Year by the Great Lakes Maritime Task Force. This prestigious honor is roughly equivalent to winning the "I Didn't Eat My Boogers After Picking My Nose Award," presented annually by the National Hand Washing Foundation. How do you really fuck over the residents of Michigan? By moving ultraconservative Maura Corrigan from the Michigan Supreme Court (she never met a corporation she couldn't fellate) to the Director of the Michigan Department of Human Services (new motto: "We'll care for you like the Donner Party cared for its members!"). Seems Ms. Corrigan doesn't believe college students are entitled to food stamps and as an argument she uses the time-worn republican fear tactic--"People are cheating the system!" As proof, she offers...nothing. What's really sad is that while other nations are smartly building their nations' future by offering free college educations to their students (Germany, France, Ireland, India) we're sending ours into indentured servitude with humongous loan obligations, and trying to scare people over pennies. Penny wise and pound foolish is not likely to make for much of a future in America. The Detroit News continues its assault on the middle class by encouraging the republican (another group that hates the middle class) led legislature in Michigan to bypass the Michigan Civil Service Commission and screw over the working people of Michigan again by cutting wages and benefits, all the while creating lawsuit after lawsuit that we can ill afford. Brilliant analysis, guys! Nolan Finley continues his quest to turn Gov. Snyder into Michigan's own version of Ronald Reagan by rewriting history before it even fucking happens! No, Nolan, the lovefest for Snyder will be ending because Democrats and moderate independents are beginning to realize the emperor has no clothes, i.e., that Snyder, despite his claims to be oh so different from every other politician is, after all, just another republican. And to close it out, kudos to the Free Press for getting at least one thing right this week: this piece which tells us the stunning news that low taxes don't promise economic viability. It's the little things, I tell you.... Peace, emaycee

Handbags and gladrags

Ends and odds... God I Hope Not, Dept.: You can't see it in this link, but in the print edition the subtitle to the article states, "Employers like flexibility, lower pay rates; workers happy to have a paycheck." Apparently, contract jobs are a real growth industry--and what's not to like, other than everything, about lower pay rates (usually 10% less) and less job security? And as long as we're just "happy to have a paycheck" I'm sure the downward spiral will continue. Sun Can't Shine on the Same Dog's Ass Everyday, Dept.: Every now and again, Old Nolan gets one right. For those not in the know, Mark Brewer is the chairman of the Michigan Democratic Party--the chairman who lead Michigan Democrats to historic defeats this past fall. Unfortunately, thanks to a party in disarray, Brewer is about to be re-elected to his post so he can lead us to further humiliating defeats in 2012. Unlike republicans, who canned Michael Steele despite historic victories this past fall because they rightly viewed him as a liability, the Democrats once again bow to chickenshit and saddle us with a radical republican government for years to come. Note to the Michigan Democratic Party: the check, so to speak, is in the mail (i.e., don't call us, we'll call you). Be Careful What You Wish, Dept.: Sorry, but I can't work up a lot of sympathy for the News' complaint about the Civil Service Commission recent decision to extend state workers' benefits to a roommate as a way around specifically designating benefits for a domestic partner because Michigan can't "afford" it. The Defense of Marriage Act wasn't enough--the bigots had to take away benefits for domestic partners, too. And sometimes, those fighting for fairness have to take matters into their own hands, much like Harry Truman did when he integrated the military in 1948. My guess is, had they left well enough alone, the citizens of Michigan would only be paying for domestic partners--now we get to pay for boyfriends, girlfriends, and just about anyone else a state worker can get under their roof. At least it's for a good cause.... It's a Fucking Car, Dept.: My absolute least favorite commercial these days is the one in which we're lead to believe you'll never forget your first Subaru, and your love of a woman is a distant second. CUE WRONG ANSWER BUZZER! A car is a fucking piece of moving metal; a good woman is a marvel and a treasure. And for the record, there's no beer on this planet that's as good as a good woman, either. Say It Ain't So, Dept.: While I can't say I'm surprised, the White Stripes, it was announced this week, have called it a career. One of my favorite bands of the last few years, always intriguing, great tunes, a band that makes Michiganders not have to be completely embarrassed by Kid Rock and Ted Nugent (okay, okay--Bob Seger, Motown, and Eminem do the same)...but the thing I'll always remember about them, is that shortly after my cooler than cool daughter introduced me to them with a copy of White Blood Cells, in which I fell in love with a song called, "Fell in Love With a Girl," I actually fell in love with a (beautiful) girl, and she's still mine. Good times.... Peace, emaycee